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A couple months ago, several Christian bloggers created a conversation about the potentially harmful aspects of idolizing virginity and purity. While I think that abstinence is a great goal for kids and one I will encourage for my own , I also believe that it is vitally important that we not use shame in an attempt to scare our children into complying with our own sexual ethics. While I think it's great to explain the benefits of abstinence, I do believe that Christians have begun to rely too heavily on a shame-based rhetoric that motivates teens into compliance for fear of being "dirty" or undesirable. The reality is that many kids will become sexually active in their teen years. According to research, 80 percent of them.

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Teens: Tell the Truth! Do you have a secret about your sex life that you'd never tell your parents? Many parents have confessed to me that, at some point, they have experienced a nearly irrepressible urge to rifle through their teen's backpack. Or to read their teen's journal—be it an online diary or a lined book filled with loopy script that was left spread-eagle and spine-up near the family computer. It's understandable that parents would want to do a little investigating.

Last Updated: July 10, References. This article was co-authored by Cher Gopman. There are 13 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.